Trust

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you,

O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

So I've barely made it through a full day without talking to Josh. Starting on Monday is when it will really be in effect. But, last night, desperately wanting to hear his voice, I began to wonder if I could really do this. We have strange guideline about this whole thing: we can call when it's an amergency, to discuss non-relationship things, share really great news - like getting a job, and we can talk and see each other on Sundays. So I began to think how I'd miss his morning text telling me how beautiful I am, how blessed he is to have me or sending me a bible verse to ponder throughout my day. Then I thought about how I felt when I didn't receive that kind of text in the morning. I'd begin to worry, "What if? What if he was running a fire call last night and something terrible happened and he's in the hospital? What if he got into an accident on his way to work? What if he is laying in a ditch somewhere and no one is looking for him?" That's when I get all crazy and call and text like a mad woman. Then, as always, I am much relieved to hear that he just forgot his phone, or it died, or he was on a call, etc. But, during all these thoughts I just started to think this whole idea is just crazy! He really could be in an accident, who would look for him? How would I know that he is okay if I'm not texting him every other hour like before? I started to get really upset and nervous. I mean days could go by without talking to him and he'd be in the hospital or dead and I would never know because I've taken a vow to spend time with the Lord.

I woke up this morning remembering the dialogue that played through my head the night before. "Oh, crap! Seriously God I can't do this. I have to know that he is okay every second of the day. How will I know he is okay if I'm not talking to him?" Then God in words that sounded something like this said, "You have to trust that I'm going to take care of him, while I take care of you." Whew! Immediately, I was comforted by an overwhelming sense of security knowing that I can trust God during this time in my life. God is just so good and faithful. I am so thankful for my salvation and that I can turn all my fears and doubts to him and truly know that it will be taken care of. Ahh so nice.

Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.

~Mary C. Crowley