Ah, so many things to say. I feel like many things I get really excited about I generally don't follow through on.
For example, deciding I'm going to run in a 5K. I've trained for a 5K three times now and never finished the training. Signed up for 2 races and never ran them. Three weeks ago I started the training again and the last time I ran was about a week and a half ago. So, once again....fail. I'm so tired of not following through with the things I say I'm going to do. Maybe, I expect too much of myself all at once. I don't know, that's just an excuse to make me feel better.
Another example, the Air Force. Now, I can't say that I didn't follow through with this because I just did, but it's wayyy later than what it should have been. The Air Force has been in contact with me since October about a singing position. I sent my CD and resume and they asked for more song selections before they invited me to come for a live audition. Well, drug my feet and never sent it in. Then, in the middle of February they emailed me asking if I was still interested because the position hadn't been filled yet. So, in that moment I was like, okay I HAVE to do this. This may be my answer and I've been ignoring it because I'm afraid to leave Josh for that long during basic training and yada yada. Anyway, I sent them additional songs and an updated resume and cover letter. I feel very very confident about the material that I sent them, so now I'm just waiting. Checking my email obsessively and crying out to God in prayer. I feel like I'm begging and I know that God isn't going to change my will because I'm crying and begging like a 5 year old. But, this is the job that I've been thinking about since I was 18. If I don't get this one, I'll keep trying and applying until I'm hired. But, I'd absolutely love to have this one. Of course, I'd have to move smack dab in the middle of the country. Omaha, NE. Just by looking at Omaha online...I'm in love, I can envision myself there and can call it home. Live in the suburbs, get paid for singing, make some babies and live happily ever after. haha I really am dreaming. (it's also 20 degrees warmer right now, just saying) Anyway, I didn't let failure get me on this one! SUCCESS!
Another thing that I do that drives me absolutely crazy is....books! I love reading. I probably buy a new book every week. So one can imagine how many books I have. How many have I read? Eh, not quite sure but less than half of what I've bought. I get so excited about reading a book, then a little over half way through, I stop reading. I have so many unfinished books. I started reading this awesome book a few weeks ago and I should be more than finished with it but I just stopped reading. I'm not allowing myself to read another book until I finish this one!
My point is that I really am trying to knock this habit that I've started. Going to finish the 5K and go back and read the ending of all the books I didn't finish. I know those are minor things but it will help me feel like I'm getting ahead. But, most importantly at some point all those things I was really excited about I believed in. How am I supposed to know what God has in store for me if I don't follow through on things I believe in?
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